The Yellow Backdrop
by ivybluesummers
Summary: Guilt is a painful word to hear, even to utter in a world like Ban's. The GetBackers must find a way to escape from their guilt, or so they philosophized...


_Edited due to some mistakes. Standard disclaimers apply. Uses first and third person perspective._

* * *

**The Yellow Backdrop **

Black pupils telescoped within the orange sun's combustion as it hid amidst the horizon, heeding the snakes' call inside when my body shuddered, and in a burst of strong winds welcoming my violet, I stopped. Clouds were forming indistinct shapes, and as I went for my cigar, I suddenly remembered. "Ban-chan, why'd you stop?"

I sighed. "I wanted to smoke."

"Oh," he replied in enthusiasm.

"Look at the clouds, Ban-chan, they're forming your smoke."

Indistinctive. Good point.

Swiveling my hands on the wheels, I started driving again, noticing how the clouds formed a desolate figure – a monkey perhaps, and with thoughts drifting dizzily in my mind, I shuddered. I looked at myself and saw Ginji's head leaning on his palm. This day is one of the longest days I have lived. "Ne, Ban-chan, how come Mr. Paul won't give us food anymore? I mean, we paid our debts, right?"

"Well, you know Mr. Paul, always changing policies and all... damn... I hate to eat another leftover."

"Hehe... but you enjoyed it, right?" he grinningly said.

I slightly spanked his head. "What would you expect from a guy who hasn't eaten for days?!"

"That hurts."

"Well, we still got money from our last retrieval mission. But we ain't eating at that Honky."

"Where Ban-chan? To the ramen house? You know, it's been years since I've eaten ramen..." he sighs, faintly yet childishly, crossing his arms on his nape.

"Well, there's a convenience store near Honky. We can buy food there and eat it at Honky."

"But... but Ban-chan... aren't instant foods bad for the health?" I knew he said it jokingly as I started to drive.

* * *

"Ooh Ban-chan! Ban-chan! I want this! Oh, and this! Haha! I want this too!" he kept saying, and as I was picking up bread, he pointed something to me, looking like a puppy that needs their fur to be patted.

"No."

"Bitter."

"If you keep on pointing on things, we're going to run out of money. We'll eat because we haven't eaten lunch."

"Bitter."

"We're going to run out of money!"

"Bitter."

I sighed. Somehow that word made me feel so guilty. I came closer to him, frowning before sighing again. "Only one."

* * *

"Yay! Haha! Yay!"

"Stop being so childish Ginji or I'll tell people I don't know you."

"Cat-shaped choco's... if Natsumi-chan's here... she's going to buy more of these," he then looked at me.

"Ginji–"

"What does it taste?" he grinningly said as he stuck the chocolate in my mouth, sugars melting on my lips, some on my tongue.

"Hmm..." I said, thinking, my eyes fixed on the windshields. "Tastes like cigarette."

"Everything tastes like cigarette to you."

"Yeah, well, it's a compliment, actually,"

"Why are we eating here in the car anyway? I thought we were eating at Honky's?"

"I don't want to let customers there see you like that." I swiveled to him. "Ginji! Your face's full of chocolate!"

"...now where's the dimsum?"

* * *

"Good evening GetBackers!". Ever so welcoming.

"Hello Natsumi-chan!"

"Where's Hevn?" I asked.

"She's still outside looking for cases for you both to solve." She smiled. "How's it been? It's been two days since you last went here. Did you have a case?"

"Ban-chan won't let me be here. He says I'm too childish for the customers coming in."

I sweatdropped. "You know, Mido is partly true." Paul snickered.

"You're mean, Mr. Paul."

"They don't really mean it." Natsumi assured him. "Oh, Miss Hevn!"

Seeping inside the warehouse were fires that engulfed both my lingering lust for blood and money at the same time. Rifle shots ensued, and in a span of a second, more shotgun shells fell and we dodged it, more of my expectations that it was something too rippled. The warehouse burned itself alive, and for as long as I can remember, the cries of the kids near at the corner of the warehouse were deafening. I leaned myself against a wall as I gripped the man's head, squeezing it before throwing it in the wall I once leaned on, with the blood oozing from his forehead. Electric shocks hunted two other men, and I smiled. We're winning. Of course we're winning. Then my violets.

Thwarting back and I ensued my snakebite to trap the man's shoulder. I gripped it hard and the man screamed, while electric mists came running through the gates as we left the warehouse, killing all those that were left inside. Ginji looked sullen and was looking straight back at the serial killer, fists clenched as electricity come out from it. I shuddered, and in a heartbeat, Ginji launched his electric kill.

But helicopters came around too soon as it appeared out of nowhere, blasting their M41 rifles and rocket launchers, and when I screamed, the blast sent out red spurts and chunky pieces of gore. I called Ginji's name and there was no response. The man laughed. He was muttering something, but it was not audible because of the banging after-sounds of the blasts. More rockets ensued me, and I dodged, but it was too many to keep up when clamors were all that I have heard. Then nothing.

The man in the black suit laughed enormously, carrying a big briefcase the GetBackers should have retrieved. It contained the biggest igneous diamond in the world, along with ten other matchbox-sized gems that could generate energy to the plasma-bomb power plant they are making. With these, even the Infinity City will be blown to more damaged pieces.

But as soon as the bald man headed for the helicopter, the flying vehicle moved from its position and circled towards the man. The man frowned, but telling himself that the helicopter will just find a safe landing spot, he sighed in relief. When he looked at those blue-black helicopters, he ran from it as the flying cars went to lock their grenade targets to the man.

"No! Wait! Wait! I'm not the enemy!" he shouted, but to no avail. The place was engulfed now with fire, and with a few more seconds, grenade rockets came swishing harder towards him. Three more explosions followed, and it all destroyed everything, including the man and the diamonds.

He definitely liked his dream.

* * *

"Ban-chan! Ban-chan! Now that we have so much money, we can buy anything we want! Haha!"

"Stop being so childish," I responded, only to be struck with muttering words of Ginji's fantasies about chocolates, dimsums, ramens and so forth.

"Ei, Ban-chan, let's go to Honky and eat there. Mr. Paul would be happy to see us with money, and he'll let us eat there as long as we want!"

"I dunno Ginji, sometimes Mr. Paul's a suck-up dude if he sees people with money."

"Don't be so rash, Ban-chan", he said, poking my nose.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, pointing on my nose.

"Nothing." He smiled. "Ne, Ban-chan, I want to rent an apartment. We can't just sleep everyday in either the car or the pavements."

"Ginji. I never thought you had wits inside you."

"Ha!"

* * *

"A very lovely apartment indeed." Kazuki commented upon entering the apartment. Hairs from all over started to spin, which left a hinted a smell of familiar leaves. Ginji's hair, on the other hand, smelled... well, like... maybe I should try smelling it directy?

"Ban-chan's room is chaste white, even his stuffs!" Ginji said.

"And I assume yours is linoleum green. Is it?"

"No, not actually, Kazuki-chan. It's... well, um, how do I say it? Hehe... it has green, white, yellow..."

"Like himself." I snorted, and Kazuki softly laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean, Ban-chan? Is it myself myself or myself with the individuality and all?" He asked, looking more curious now.

"The first one."

"Oh," he sighed. "Not really. I'm not finished yet, you know." He grinned. "Kazuki-chan, want to see my room? You'd get bored if you see Ban-chan's room. So plain." He grinned again.

"Well of course, Ginji-san."

* * *

"Ne, Ban-chan, I hope we could buy more food at the fridge, it looked empty... I hate emptiness." The last seemed more of a statement than encouragement to buy food.

"But we just got it filled."

"I know." He smiled childishly.

"Oh no Ginji. If you keep on eating the food in the fridge, we're going to run out of money. The apartment is for rent, not for sale. We'd be sleeping in the streets if you keep on doing that."

"Then we should work harder to earn more money."

"But clients hardly come, Ginji. Besides, not all our missions give us well-deserved money."

"Then we work double time!"

"Hnn."

"Ey, Ban-chan, what do you think of the sky now. You said you hated looking at them because... well, why do you hate skies again?"

I looked up at the cerulean sky. White pebble-like stars sprinkled the endless space, the moon in its platinum beauty. "It looked so... serene. I stir myself up and feel so much guilt every time I look at it."

"How come?" Ginji's face turned at me and I looked at him with my pupils. I sighed with no reason, and I started to pick a cigarette from the pack, lighting it. "Want some?"

"Ban-chan, I don't smoke."

"I know." I smiled.

The balcony was as big as both our rooms with pillars that looked like it was from the Pax Romana era. Ionic pillars, to be exact, though it was from the Ancient Greek, and it gave another rush on my blood. Was it just the moment or the lust for blood? "Ginji,"

"Hmm?"

"The sky is perfect. Innocent and pure. It's so pure even if violence and carnage try to reach it... that's why men cannot reach it even if they try their best."

Looking up the sky himself, Ginji sighed. "I know."

"Babylonians tried to surpass God, but they were not able to. Their kingdom fell, and their race was obliterated from existence because they tried to be something they aren't."

"So you fancy religion now?" Ginji tried to hide his smile, and it wasn't something I didn't enjoy. He can be too childish but not stupid.

"It was an analogy." I said.

"You know Ban-chan, worlds can collide, either existence and conformity have a thin line, or existence is not existence at all."

"You can be quite philosophical, Ginji. You should try being a philosophy instructor when you get old." I sighed with a smile.

"Huh? ...I was only in the mood. Your fear of the sky's beauty started it." he looked at me again. "Why are you afraid to look anyway?"

"Haven't I answered your question?"

"Oh, yeah. Too one-sided."

"What do you mean?"

He shifted his position. He put his arms on his nape with his right leg placed in his left knee. He sat as if the chair was a sofa, and it looked like he wasn't bothered at all. His eyes were the eyes of the Thunder Emperor, as he disliked the term, and it was solemn enough to be couched on what he would say next. I wish more of these moments; Ginji's childish demeanor gets on my nerves sometimes, but when he's like this, everything seems to start all over again. _Like meeting him for the first time._

"Violence's either moral nor immoral because no one has actually and verifiably proved it, but people cling on to it because they want to survive." He sighed. "Most people have a great attachment to life."

"Now what has that got to do with my phobia?" I grunted.

"Nothing." He smiled.

* * *

Beneath the balcony, Kazuki smiled. Of course he had to smile. He enjoyed every moment when the GetBackers talk like these; it was fulfilling to be honest, like food that gets you going to the everyday activities that come. He pricked a thread spool, and he heard nothing. _That was it?_, Kazuki thought.

But he already got what Ginji tried to say. Ban is one of those who knew Ginji so well, so well that he could replace him and Shido in Ginji's memory. But to know someone deeply doesn't mean _thoroughly_. Only yourself can. People often believe that we don't know ourselves, but it's just a matter of exhibition to the people you interact with. People are people, and not knowing who you are can imply your void.

He smiled again. Guess he had to eavesdrop again tomorrow morning. With a fast reflex, Kazuki started to look for Shido. "Perfection is a consolation," he whispered as he disappeared to the blue-black backdrop.

"You're eavesdropping again? If Mido finds out that you eavesdrop on them everyday anytime of the day, he's going to toast you. Even Ginji-san will be angry, too."

"No need to worry, Shido-san. You want to know what they talked about?"

Shido frowned. "Of course no. I don't want to intrude privacy. Besides, I already know what they're talking about. Childishness, teasing–"

"Not really."

"Huh?"

Kazuki smiled. "Sometimes if you look at petty things, they can get deeper than you think."

"What's that supposed to mean? That I don't get what–"

"Your tone of saying what they do seemed a little bit perverted." Kazuki had to smile at that.

"No. It's just that..."

"What?"

Shido sighed. As much as his respect for Ginji, he tried not to talk about it. Though Kazuki can notice his blushing face, it was obvious that Kazuki might as well know it. There was no need to brush on to the topic, for it was something as rhetoric as an open-ended story. It is hard to draw conclusions from mere observations and eavesdropping, but Shido can't stop and think about it. The more he reflects on it, the more pink hues come out in his face. Kazuki once laughed hard when they were in a bar; he laughed hard when he noticed him flush when they talked about the topic, loud enough for the others at that place to hear. An African tribe member blushing about relationships... who ever thought of that.

"You know what I'm talking about!" he responded.

"But it wasn't like that at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sensing that our GetBackers are having too much guilt, and they don't like it. Somehow even Ginji feels guilty, too, but not as guilty as Ban."

"I don't get you. What do you mean they're guilty? Guilty of what? Aren't they supposed to be GetBackers, the ones who have the best retrieval genes in the world?"

"Something which resembles guilt is objective, Shido-san," Kazuki sighed as he arranged his hair to his side. The clinging bells on it lightly rang but nonetheless echoed through the silence on of the corners of Infinity City. "But when you put all together apart, it becomes subjective. It weighs depending on the person feeling it."

"It's all the same if you ask me." Shido replied.

"Hmm?"

"It's a matter of expression," he smiled. "Expression's the one that's subjective."

Kazuki smiled. "You can be right, Shido-san." Now he gets what he's talking about. "Look at the sky, Shido-san. The stars are just... perfect. It's all perfect with that moon looking so mundanely beautiful."

"Hnn." These petty things, these petty little things they see, from the cerulean skies to the daffodils, from the gardens of daisies and roses and green pastures to the blue oceans, from the happy faces of the everyday people to the sipping of coffee... these mere things. Shido understood that solace to people like them. Born from the cocoons of everyday nothingness are the consolation they can get from living in a world of infinite violence and despair. In a world where people easily die and where subordination is lack of guts and survival, people have the tendency to look for answers to why things easily come and go. Though these petty little things can last just for a minute, conception makes them endure time. And it brings them solace, somehow, one way or another.

"But what you said about Ginji and Ban earlier is another story." Kazuki softly grinned.

"I don't want to talk about it!" he said, now growling like a child and blushing.

* * *

I puffed my smoke as the wind passed through me, feeling insane thoughts and hallucinations mixing up and giving me a headache. Ginji's comment keeps on bugging me and it's making me awake for the past two hours. Ginji already dozed off because he was tired eating. That Ginji. Tomorrow he'll pay for the food.

What did he mean by those words? Was it a puzzle from his philosophical demeanor or just a stack of words aimed to fool me? I heaved another nicotine, then puffed it out. Somehow that Ginji rocks my firm convictions about things, though sometimes it was something I really enjoyed, that sometimes it makes me think away from obstinacy. I consider myself dogmatic even if I can be academically scholarly, and Ginji... he's just too unpredictable when it comes to talking about one's place and pace on earth. Or something like that.

Our clients wanted their treasure map to be retrieved from the thieves whom they think can unlock the doors of the hidden Mesopotamian pyramid that contains all the riches of the world. If we retrieve it, we'll get a part of that treasure. We'll just let the thieves open the gate then we can take it from there. I stared at the TV as I surfed to the channels, glimpsing images of artists modeling some kind of product, and it was not amusing. I'm still awake and I am wondering why.

I went for the fridge but to my uttermost surprise, only bottles of water were there. I frowned at the sight before gulping down one bottle then slouched myself at my bed. Ginji doesn't snore and it's perfectly fine for me, and much of my delight he doesn't even sleep talk or walk. Great. I'm going to sleep well.

The ceilings were black to its full color due to the lack of light in my room. "Damn, why can't I sleep?" I whispered to myself.

"Maybe I should change my cigarette brand." I stared at the mirror near the bed. Sitting down, I stared to the mirror and looked at my brown tresses as it lightly fluttered in the breeze coming out of the open window in my room. I sighed.

I swiveled my head at the door and saw Ginji in his green trousers and white loose shirt. The everyday sickness started to dissuade in its uttermost sigh, and I could feel l little warmer. Ginji pouted and yawned, his fingers caressing the corners of his eyes. What a sight.

"This is not the kitchen," I said.

"Eh?" His husky voice made my throat gulp.

"You look... thirsty." And Ginji signaled a nod, and I nodded. He went in to my room, not closing the door. His body gleamed in the soft glows of the moon, all the while with breeze coming from my open windows. What a sight.

He sat beside me. I can feel the pumping of my heart but I was sure the surprise wasn't showing in my face. Ginji was in his mood of silence, and I was trying to decipher his sighs and his silences that probably meant of words trying to escape from his mouth. I sighed a deep exhale. This made him wince.

"Anything wrong?"

He looked at me in the most indescribable faces. "You didn't smell a perfume from Himiko, did you?"

"No, I didn't."

"Then what's that look on your face?"

Ginji smiled. "Nothing..."

I can feel hot breaths coming closer at me, the blonde lip's coming nearer at my lip's touch. I did nothing but to welcome it, the kiss soft and tender. It wheeled beyond all my inhibitions as Ginji probed, feeling all there is to feel like the body longing not only skin but the sentiments of the backdrops swelling inside my mind. It sure was black. Did I close my eyes? Ginji groaned my name. I murmured his name.

I started to feel his collarbone, his hands exploring the depths under the garments he wore. With a flash of a second, Ginji's shirt was now out of my sight, the pale moon glowing in the mist, the pale moon shimmering the flesh of the blonde. He looked so good, and I can feel my insides starting to swell up in the most scorching way. Ginji smiled as he brushed the tresses on his forehead, the boyish look that seemed to me a very typical thing. Yet the ministrations the blonde was doing right in front of me was too much for my eyes to take. He was unbuckling his belt. One by one his fingers folded against themselves and I see myself again in the planes nowhere of my reach. Hands started to creep on my neck. It isn't my hand.

It felt warm, the kiss, again, and somehow the kiss itself turned something wildly I can't control anymore. I hate not being in control. In winced in the pleasure of Ginji's tongue as it swirled against mine.

Then it broke.

His body glistened in the white glow, almost looking like yellowish with all of its unknown glory. He brushed his hair once more. Those refined yellow tresses. It smelled of jasmine. Why did it smell jasmine anyway? Ginji always was outside with the sun spoiling his velvety hair. I smiled as I stare at his well built body.

What a sight. What a backdrop.

Why is my sight black? I found it hard to see now, the dimensions fully implicating the situation. Why is my sight black? It was supposed to be sepia-like glow in the yellow refines of flesh sparkling in the moon. Why is my sight black? I gazed at the mirror and found it broken to pieces. I stared there long enough for me to realize all these, and more than that was the realization that my head ached in pain. My head reeled. Almost like it bled from the foolishness and desperate measure I did a minute ago.

I slouched my body by the bed, feeling the sheets screech in lightest possible sound it can create. I felt my crept into my polo, unfastening the first two buttons. There was it again. Black. Did I close my eyes?

I felt a screech on the door. I looked and saw Ginji half-naked, a towel in his waist. He looked... thirsty.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I... I'm fine."

"I'm... I'm going to my room now. Good night, Ban-chan... don't... don't stress yourself too much."

I didn't reply. I heard a click of a doorknob.

My thoughts rambled at the sight of Ginji's glowing body, a glass with water in his hand. Yes, guilt had to wait. I have something to think about. Was it just a dream? The kiss? The wonderful sight? Dreams are in the most realistic possible manifestations. Yes, guilt had to wait. Or maybe I was guilt itself?


End file.
